Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My vagina is very pro this idea
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
