Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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