Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
