ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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