I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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