Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
