Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
