I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
