I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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