yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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