I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
