Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He felt like a one man threesome
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
They took my balls.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
