Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
