you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize