His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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