Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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