Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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