I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
