kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
