My brain says no but my pants say off.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
