Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
