I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
