I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
