so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
