the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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