Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
