I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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