Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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