she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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