on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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