Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
