Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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