he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
