You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
