I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
