Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
