he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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