Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
