Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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