he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
