i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
