how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize