Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
