some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
