I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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