Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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