I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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