I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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