it was like his penis was on wheels.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
