Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
